thursday and friday, i do not remember.

yst, was crapped.
almost got into girls home.
it's not what you all think.
this time is for real.
AND, SISTERS AND BROTHERS, THANKS FOR YST NIGHT.
SORRY TOO!
went out w eda planning to study den, naqibah came and meet us.
Naqibah told me about her dream tht totally freak me out. HAHAHAHAH.
lover~~~
soon after, met beng and his friend,
naqibah left.
head to henderson's wave.
vivo, 85, home.

today, breakfast at circuit road.
lunch at betty jiejie's house
dinner at t3.

im fear to get hurt, i hope yr for real.

yr the last tht i expect would say ' i wash my hands of you'
it broke my heart.

• school, though it start at 845 i was still late-.-
• Rivy's house
• movie
• english
• hsh

Effing pissed now!

My eye is as painful as yst! D:
itchy too!
D:

• cried in school today )':
• hugged star!
• Rivy's house
• pops fetch Px hsh
• ws for dinner
• buy books
• hsh

Tmr gg Rivy's house to watch showwwwwww :D

with Px. :D

goodbye now.

angry uh!
My chinese 1 more mark to A1 and my maths, 1 more mark to A2.
wtf you tell me wtf!!!

Stayed in school till 4 cas thts when lessons end
Headed to Rivy's house, Px cut hair, mum mum,
HSH! C:

Star, i wrote you a note.
Its suppose to sound encouraging, but, sadly, i dont think it doesnt sound encouraging.
I know, life is a tough road, girl.
But, stand strong.
You may not know how much you mean to me.
I may not know how to express how much you mean to me.
But, I can tell you, its alot.
and i mean, alot.
my phone is 24/7 on.
Dont hesitate to call me.
I may not be able to solve yr problems,
I may not be able to hug you physically at tht moment,
I may not be able to cheer you up,
I may not be able to make you laugh,
But, I am sure able to hear you out,
even if it means to hear you cry on the phone all night darling.
O's near.
i really really really hope you'll push everything aside and concentrate.
I know, its hard. And impossible, but, try alright? try.
I'll give you a hug asap, i promise.
ILY!

i seriously cannot upload photos!
why like thtttttttttt!
my blog so wordy now ):
boring sunday ): ):
monday school ): ): ):
tuesday even longer day in school ): ): ): ):
WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THIS! D:

BBQ yst.
came home late so didnt come online.
WHY BLOGGER STILL CANNOT UPLOAD PHOTOS. or isit my laptop?!?!
):
Today, nothing much interesting.
I want to go out NOW NOW NOW.
someone ask me out, pretty pls?

night falls and, memories flash back.
sometimes i wish i can turn time back,
i'll cherish more things, i'll cherish more people.

(named by who come into my mind first.)

If not for SAC,
i wont know my bestfriend Eda,
not for SAC,
i wont know my wife Joanna,
not for SAC,
i wont know my wifey Veronica,
not for SAC,
i wont know my sissaye Josephine,
not for SAC,
i wont know my chong chong Peixin,
not for SAC,
i wont know my frienermy Sonya Patcharapinyopong,
not for SAC,
i wont know my awesome bandmate Weiann,
not for SAC
i wont know my 'greatest' ex band president shanna,
not for SAC
i wont know my star Genevieve,
not for SAC
i wont know my PTS Sabirah,
not for SAC
i wont know my pig pig Jasmine,
not for SAC
i wont know my awesome indirect senior Katherine,
not for SAC
i wont know my story teller classmate Jacqueline anne nonis,
not for SAC
i wont know my pretty Samantha,
not for SAC
i wont know my susu Susie Koh,
not for SAC
i wont know my 'ah gong' Qiufang,
not for SAC
i wont know my 'daddy' Janice,
not for SAC
i wont know my 'towel' Esther,
not for SAC
i wont know my china classmate Jiaxue,
not for SAC
i wont know my road friend Victoria,
not for SAC
i wont know my eclipes friend Jazreel,
not for SAC
i wont know my 'cousin' Simin,
not for SAC
i wont know my faggot/gay/king Naqibah,
not for SAC
i wont know my ballet partner Sascha,
not for SAC
i wont know my partner Chelsea,
not for SAC
i wont know my chicken ass Nuryl,
not for SAC
i wont know my darling nehneh Adilah,
not for SAC
i wont know my vegetarian friend Cheryl,
not for SAC
i wont know my 'K!' friend Amelyn,
not for SAC
i wont know my closest malay friend Nis,
not for SAC
i wont know my macho friend Jamie emma,
not for SAC
i wont know my POA smartie pants Leeanne,
not for SAC
i wont know ... ...
THE LIST GOES ON.

I DIDNT KNOW N'S IS 18 DAYS AWAY.
F***!!!
i wanna cry now. i need you.

Today skipped school,
Went bugis, walked to plaza sing,
train-ed to chinatown, train-ed to lil india, train-ed to hougang, bus-ed to pasir ris, dinner, im home.

KAY, EVERYONE READ THIS.
i planned to skip school tmr BUT i suddenly, yes, suddenly remember i got CIP to do tmr.
So, shld i go?
PLUS today they received chinese and maths paper 1 results.
so, tmr, idk if will check papers not.
SO, HOW NOW BOW WOW?!?!

i wont blog my results but, i've got top in my class for chinese and also, top few in class for maths paper 1. Both As.
BUT, CONFIRM MY COMBINE HUMANS AND COMBINE SCIENCE FAIL,
SO, GOT EM, NO B3 -.-

came online for a quick post.

Today had our POA prelims.
which is our last paper.
Done and over, thank God.
it was, like shyt.
i know im gg to fail
combine science, combine humans, and POA.
maths, english and chinese might have a chance to pass.
Well, like shyt uh this prelims!!!

Not gg school tmr and friday.
I deserve a break after prelims. (although i didnt study uh)
But still... ...

Alright, update tmr! :D

since young, everybody has always been pampering me and doting on me.
whenever im afraid, theres someone out there to protect me,
whenever i break down, there is someone to wipe my tears away,
whenever i need a hug, many out there will come and give me one,
whenever i need someone by my side, someone will be.
But, yr different.
Yr the first in my whole entire life tht tell me you wont be here for me, i have to be independent.
Somehow, tht break my heart.
i cried.
Why is it this way?
[tears rolls down]

Just reached home.
Went to my granny's house just now to see my uncle.
he came back to sg for a visit.
the last time he came back was 10 years ago. NO JOKE.

today, paper was fine. :D
Rivy's dad fetch us and den i went home, zz.

Took photo of me with short hair today, i clipped it, didnt cut.
HAHAHAHA. :D
GAHHHHHH! WHY CANT I UPLOAD PHOTOS. [ANGRY FACE]

When you said tht, it touched my heart, it made me realise, i hurt you so bad.
im sorry love, i promise i'll make things better.
im sorry.

Wake up in the morning really feeling so shit, didnt want to go school but, i promised E.
D:
went to bathe, no hot water.
den, while washing my hair, shampoo went into my eye.
Damn frastrated.
went to school, had paper, ms saleha caught me for my stud again.
-.-
Angry.
After papers went to buy lunch, den Rivy's dad sent us back.
Dropped me at jap school there den i took a bus to lp and walked home.
Reached home, bathe etc, watch teevee, ZzZ, mommy's home.
now, here.
k, goodbye.

yst, was just a usual saturday, wake up late, go organ lesson, go home and zz early cas i was so god damn tired, idk why.




PRINCESS BU KAI XIN.

FIRSTLY, I MUST SAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMIN AND TIAN XIANG!!! :D

Simin, remember th cousin cousin thing? hahaha!

Tian xiang, laughing is ungentleman! hahahahah! And also, tattoo yr address remember? HAHAHAHAHA!:D

went to school early to meet Peixin and Veronica.
Put the cake in the drink stall.
talked about many things.
cried ):
saw Ms yap!
:D
Jo came after tht.
After Jo came, we went out of school to meet Naqibahhhhhhh.
She wanted to go east point, so we went.
She went to get her lip stud.
Went to the toliet to put.
She cannot turn her ball in so i had to help her.
but still, fail.
HAHAHAHAH
in the end, she put herself.
den we went to kfc to have our breakfast cum lunch?
Sam came and meet us there.
after tht, went to get Naqibah's ear stud.
she still want me to help her put in.
terrible this girl.
After tht, cab to school w Pei Xin and Veronica.
while they rest took another cab.
Reached school, waited for the rest den, saw Rivy at the traffic light.
Walked in with her.
Went to 5/1 to pass Elaine her food.
Went up for our maths prelim paper1 :D 2 h.
i would say the paper was average.

After papers, Peixin and i went down first, to get the cake and wanting to go out of school to meet naqibah first.
But when we walked out, first thing i saw, Elaine.
immediately pull Peixin in.
Simin was outside!
called Elaine den, she pretended to be angry etc so tht Peixin can be a surprise.
Den, Elaine walked off. Simin chased her.
Peixin and i rushed out to light the candle etc.
The rest came.
When she came back, surprised her etc.
Den, Jo, Naqibah, Eda, Sam and i pretended to go somewhere first so tht SM and PX can spend sometime tgt.

Meet Elaine and Veronica after tht, headed to ws walked around, ate.
Veronica and Elaine left.
Slowly, Jo left.
Sam left.
Naqibah and i talked and crapped and took photos and now im here :D

I feel uneasy when you call me ________ now.
but, i admit, i love it.

NAQIBAH, CHEER UP YO! :D i promised you i wont smoke anymore. i wont break my promise (:

just finish baking the cake.
went to my granny's house just now.
:D

Tmr, im gg school early to meet Peixin, Veronica and Josephine.
Den, off to the canteen to ask uncle from the drink stall to tompang our cake :D
10 plus, gg out of school to meet Naqibah.
Den, back to school for maths prelims paper
After school, out of school again to celebrate simin's birthday! :D

im gg to go deco the cake now!
goodbye! :D

GAH, i want to upload pictures but they keep telling me error on page.
MY FACE GOT ERROR ISIT!

today, went to school and almost late.
dad dropped me at bus stop.
This whole week i keep on reaching school on the dot.

After assembly, went up to class, had physics prelims paper.
NONSENSE i dont even know how to do!
assssss.
after tht, had a hour and a half break.
Den, biology.
it was bad.
but it wasnt as bad as physics.

Ai ren said she's upset about her results she got today.
She asked me to study hard.
Well, AI REN, TAN SHINLING! CHEER UP! WOAINI MANY MANY MANY WORZXZX!
:D

And during recess, i sat w peixin, Wifey, Jo and, Elaine? (she come and go)
we were laughing so hard and when i lean back, i hit this girl like, damn hard.
I feel so bad after tht.
Asked Simin to apologise to her since she's Simin's classmate but, Simin said, aiya dont need one luh.

ohohoh!
My wifey and i have a very good way of remembering the parts of the heart and also, flower! :D
right wifey right?
fun to the max!
:D
we took a photo today, but blogger is being such an ass and i cannot upload!
Wifey! until now, i still can remember the parts man!
hahahahh!

Got dental later at 4 plus.
After dental gg to my grandmommy house to pass my auntie something den go and buy the baking stuff.
Gg home to bake after tht! :D
hahaha, IF TMR, HEADLINES, PASIR RIS, 16 YEAR OLD GIRL BURN TO DEATH, IT'LL BE ME!
hahahahahaha
no luh, my mommy baking w me so, no worries! :D

kay kay, Good bye!

sometimes i wonder how can one say tht he/she love someone so much ,
and hate tht someone so much later.

humans are so unpredictable creatures,
nobody truely knows and understand others completely.
Only you know about yrself fully.

to me, love is a really strong word.
i may say 'i love you' to my friends really often,
but to someone i really love, i've yet to found.
though there maybe many tht i thought i had feelings for.
but come on, How old am i?
No no, rephrase, How young am i?
i dont understad tht big word 'LOVE'
too chim, im not gg to try to understand it either.
till someone shows me what it truely mean, i will then know.
And so, in this up coming few years, i shall be tht lil innocent girl.
:D hurray!

BE PROUD OF ME EVERYONE,
ALICIA PAN IS STUDYING SCIENCE FOR EXAM.
FIRST TIME IN THE 16 YEARS I'VE BEEN ALIVE.
:D

Blogger finally let me change my font colours buttttttttttt,
i still cant upload photos. damn.
D:

Goodluck everyone who are gg to take prelims tmr! :D
Dont forget to bring curve ruler, calculator, ruler, protractor, aiya, bring maths set also luh!
be typical singaporean and be kiasu anyway, the day after tmr is maths paper already so you can just leave it in yr bag. ^^

kay kay, back to mugging for Science! :D

Today, i walked in school with Edaaaaaaaa.
:D
was super duper tired.
had English.
den Ss.
Ss was alright though i never study.
was late for ss paper and Mr poh stopped me and Rivy.
He called us infront of the whole level of NA and asked us why we were late etc.
Even said nxt time we late, he will stop us from taking our paper.

Got caught for my piercing again.
Seem like Ms saleha remember tht i have it on.
Grrrr.

Headache naozx.
Gg to have some beauty sleep soon.
:D

im gg to close my naval piercing den go pierce w B again once it closes fully. (:

EDA CHUA SHI MIN I KNOW YR READING THIS.
COME AND UPDATE ME NOW.
MY PHONE 24/7 ON ONE.
FASTER CALL ME. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I SAY NOW.

Today morning, i was almost late for school.
Dad dropped me off at busstop instead.
And then i walked in with Samsam :D

At the festival court, i was caught for piercings by ms saleha. GAWD, First ever time in my whole entire life D:
Ms Saleha,' Alicia, can you take out yr extra earrings?'
Me,'okay.' [pulling hair trying to cover]
After national anthem,
Ms Saleha [looks at me]
Me [SMILE :DDDD]
Ms Saleha,' Alicia, so when are you gg to take out yr earrings?'
Me,' haha kay, now.' [sit down][take out pink one] [blue one still on]
Den, we walked back to class.

Had chinese prelims paper today.
Paper 1 was alright.
By the time Paper 2 start, im sleepy alr.
AND RECENTLY I KEEP TELLING MYSELF,'AIYA PRELIMS ONLY DW. DO WELL FOR N'S CALN ALR.'
oh gawd.
someone come argue w me tht prelims is important too pls.
rah rah.

Headed to Rivy's house after school w Peixin :D

Cut my hair. :DDDD
BLOGGER CANNOT UPLOAD PICTURES AGAIN.
IM ANGRY, SEE MY ANGRY FACE. [shows angry face] ): <

i still haven started studying for SS which is tmr's paper.
Oh dear oh dear.
screw you Alicia Pan, study luh!

klaire, CHEER UP KAY? ILY! :D

tmr's prelims prelims prelims.
i know i keep repeating but its like on repeat mode in my head.
seriously.

sometimes when memories flash by,
i cant help it but tear.
thinking about days when i was younger.
Sec 1 i got posted to SAC.
I DETEST THIS SCHOOL.
TILL NOW.
Den, i got to know many awesome friends.
And, as days went by, E and i became closer.
She invited me to FCBC.
First visit, Second visit, and slowly, i became part of them.
Days when E, S, M, C, and i go church tgt.
every sunday we'll meet at semei cc without fail.
S is always late.
C will always be found in th toliet.
E and i will take bus tgt.
M will always come w her expensive bag.
we'll always walk to eastpoint after everyone reaches den take the shuttle bus from the bus stop.
E will always buy sweets and provide all of us sweets during service.
Mary will always treathen us by saying she'll confiscate our phones because we always msg.
Soon after worship, we'll start writing nonsense on the sermon paper about gg where after svc, how to skip cell, etcetc.
I remember Christmas at orchard clearly.
When, we had to make balloons which I AM DAMN SCARED OF.
i cried like almost every single time you all make.
But, you all were so caring, knowing im scared, everytime someone twist a balloon infront of me, before i cover my ears, you all will ask those ppl to stop etcetc.
Days pass, E and i wasnt tht close cas we got to know J.
S and J were tgt for some time and, i was close to J and friends.
so, S and i became close. For a damn short period.
to think if it now then i remember.
Den after J and S broke up, M and J were tgt.
And so, M and i were close.
We would go home tgt after school and all because M will go to pasir ris to look for J.
Den, M and J broke up.
Slowly, we all got our own lifes and stop gg to church as noone would bother to call us to ask why after mary left.
though E, S, M and i are from he same school, we rarely say hi to each other later.
But, E and i are still best friends no matter what.
And, S quit school in sec 4.
M and i no longer say hi in school.
E and i are still close.
C and i are close too.
If i can turn time back, i would do whatever i can to not let us lose contact.
or at least, able to catch up once in a while.
girls, imy.

In sec 3, i was super close to this bunch of ppl,
We even have clique outings and etc.
from more than 10 of us.
slowly, one by one left.
though we maybe from the same school, some same class even.
i can feel tht we're no longer the same.
Night study brought us tgt as one.
Den, N fell sick and i went to see N w E.
slowly, N and i got close.
and, i always stay back w you all after school.
slowly, N joined.
Days when we stay back after school never fail.
Family was slowly formed.
But, after Family was formed, clique was left out.
S felt out of place many a times.
She left.
Slowly i realise many left.
Many things happened, and i left.
one by one, i see leaving from the family.
I dont mean anything when i say this but, i wish, i was a better person to keep everything in place.
and not someone who just make things worst or someone who is of no help.
if anyone feel offended after reading this, my apologies.

Alright, i cant let memories hold me back.
I have to move on in life!
:D HAPPY CELLS.
Im glad i once have all of you guys in my life.
be it good or bad memories, i treasure all of them.

Lastly, GOOD LUCK EVERYONE FOR TMR'S PRELIM PAPER.
notice i didnt say what paper tmr? cas idk what paper! :s
kkk,
xoxo

why cannot upload pictures D:

i deleted my old blog.
you wont want to know what i blogged about last time, how hilarious.

hi earthlings.
im back to blogger!!! :D
i missed blogger.
i feel so much safer to blog here than my lj.
Lj is like, unknowingly, ppl read.

Just like, klaire, i miss our younger days.
Despite the ugly hair and everything.
well, im wishing to have a gathering for E,S,M,C AND I
D:
i guess, its pretty hard.

I know this skin isnt nice at all.
just for now, bear w it humans.

tmr, studying w px and rivy.
at rivy's house ^^

PX, CHEER UP. DONT GET SO BOTHERED.
THERES STILL ALICIA AND 'the-other' A (; **hint hint
hahahaha :D
LOVE YOU MANY MANY.

XOXO

Profile

Alicia Pan
Going on seventeen
SAC

Exits

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Yu Ting
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photos: bexidaisy on DA
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inspiration & lyrics: TLG
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